Japanese Tradition

The Japanese system of education.

In Japan, there is a special approach to raising children, which is difficult for Europeans to understand. It sounds like this: until the age of five, the child is a king, from five to fifteen-a servant, after fifteen-an equal. We understand what dangers this system carries.
The Japanese system of raising children, which does not allow any prohibitions and censure, in particular, has fallen in love with many Russian parents. Meanwhile, the fruits that this system gives at home are not so sweet — society in the Land of the Rising Sun can hardly be called the healthiest and happiest. Economic development and a high standard of living do not save you from emotional disorders. Japanese residents often suffer from depression, have various addictions (workaholism, alcoholism). Together with the psychotherapist Aina Gromova, we analyzed the main disadvantages of the educational model of Japan.
The stages of Japanese education have centuries-old traditions. They are inextricably linked to the culture and mentality of the Japanese.
Age from 0 to 5 years-the baby is considered an “emperor”, he is bathed in love and nothing is forbidden;
Age from 6 to 15 years — the period of “slave”, the child goes to school, begins strict discipline, training to order, submission, to stand out from their social group is not accepted;
16 years and older — the child becomes “equal”, the main importance is acquired by work and recognition in the team.
Each period has its own characteristics, but there are also unshakable postulates. For example, since childhood, the fear of judging society is embedded in the consciousness of children, not being like everyone else is bad. “Everyone will laugh at you” is worse than any punishment or ban. So where do Japanese parents go too far, and what educational methods should we be more careful with?

  1. Permissiveness is dangerous.
    Up to 5 years old, the Japanese kid practically does not know the prohibitions, he will not be scolded for misdeeds by either the household or passers-by on the street. The world for a child has almost no boundaries. But is it harmless, especially outside of Japanese society? The absence of the word “no” in the system of education leads to the fact that the child grows up in an artificial environment, in a “tin can”. Over time, he has serious emotional problems, especially when interacting with other people outside of his home. The ingrained awareness that everything I want, I must get, makes the child vulnerable. When he begins to want something not only from his parents, but also from others who are not ready to satisfy his every whim, every “no” causes trauma to the child and causes misunderstanding, protest and crisis.
    The presence of boundaries provides a mandatory framework within which the individual grows. The period up to six years is characterized by the fact that the child is extremely interested in subject activity (a young researcher studies everything around him), and also at this time the concepts of “I — others”, “mine — someone else” are formed, in fact, the child is separated into a separate person, his personal, social and property boundaries are formed. It is at this time that explaining to the child what is possible and what is not possible is one of the basic principles of education. Without them, a little person can develop anxiety, because he can not systematize the entire flow of information and impressions that he receives from the world!
    Another question is that this framework should not be too narrow. When there are too many prohibitions, it also does not allow the child to develop fully. Everything is possible and nothing is impossible — two extremes. As the ancient Greeks correctly noted — everything is good in moderation.
  2. Maternal overprotection gives birth to infantile behavior.
    During the “emperor” period, Japanese children are inextricably linked with their mother. The role of the father at this time is not so great, it is limited only to entertainment on weekends. The baby sleeps in the same bed with his mother for a long time, she carries the child in her arms for a long time and, of course, fulfills all the whims and whims. The close relationship between mother and child has a number of advantages, but often it develops into hyper-care, which prevents the formation of a self-sufficient personality. The child is a separate subject. The basic task of parents is to help them prepare for an independent life. If the mother takes responsibility for the child’s mood for a long time, for the results of his misdeeds, corrects mistakes for him, then this prevents the development of responsibility in the child. A person becomes mature when he understands the relationship between his actions and their results. The seeds of future personal maturity should be laid in childhood. Infantile, weak people often grow up in families with overprotective parents. A person should learn from childhood to understand that his actions lead to a result that he may not like. Therefore, we first explain, and then give the opportunity to get the result of our own actions. I got into a puddle — I had to go home, tripped on the toys — I had to clean them up in time. Only in this way will the child understand that he is responsible for himself and his actions. And then the demand to the teenager: “Think with your head” – will be real.